about marriage

[Winter80-sara]

If you are a muslim can you marry someone who is not of the same religion or would that person need to convert? Do Muslim believe women should work or not?

[SweetGal]

Winter im not really an expert or anything but i do happen to be muslim so ill just tell u from wat i know as a muslim woman :).... muslim men are allowed to marry a woman who is not of the same religion ( but it's not really recommended and they have to be of either christian or Jewish faith and they cant be atheists (sp)) but a muslim woman can never marry a man who is not muslim. From wat i understand, it's not recommended in both cases (even though its permissable for a man) because Islam considers the husband head-of-the-family and because she
will be under the authority of a non-muslim husband. He may
prevent her from carrying out her religious obligations by
pressuring her. But that it is not the sole reason for imposing the restriction. The situation is considered very damaging for the woman to practise Islam afterwards and even worse for the kids in such marriages.

I hope that kind of explains it, but im not an expert.. if there is any ppl out there who can add to this that would be g8... :)

[cyounus]

SweetGal you are correct. I would like to add that the husband should attend the church of his wife to know what she is being tought and therfore he can elaborate. Also the Quarn states that a man may marry outside only if a muslim woman is not available.

[cyounus]

I would like to add that a woman does not have to convert to marry. Infact no one should convert unless they truly believe in Islam.

[Ali al-Mahdi]

Read this:

http://islam.about.com/blinterfaith.htm > Interfaith Marriage in Islam

[Trupti]

It really depends on how much you allow your own faith to dictate what you do. While the Koran might say you should not marry outside anyone that is not a Muslim, there are many Muslims (men and women) who marry non-Muslims.

My best friend's mom is Muslim and her father is Hindu; the mom did not convert. They celebrate both religions in the house.

[mkaw]

Originally posted by AliMahdi
Read this:

http://islam.about.com/blinterfaith.htm > Interfaith Marriage in Islam

Thank you for the reference. I have looked for information on Islam on the internet but I don't know how to judge what is accurate. I think that Wikipedia may have some inaccuracies. What are some good sources that are really basic?

[cyounus]

As I had said elsewhere, the Quran chapter 2 is very clear. It discusses all family matters. You can access the Quran on line. After reading and you have questions you will have a base of what we are saying.

[muchluv4kaysar]

The more I come to this forum the more similarities I see between my religion and Islam. We also don't make it a practice to marry outside our religion. We can but it isn't recommended.

[nikki]

yeah when i used to think kaysar was all hot and stuff i was jokin with my mom and i was like im gonna marry him someday..hes gonna be ur son in law and she's like "nikki for 1 ur only 15 and secondly he wont marry a white girl only a muslim" i was like pshh whatever he'll get one glimpse of me and get lost in me forever lol

[cyounus]

secret marriage and temporary marriage are NOT Islamic. Infact the Walima is part of the marriage so that all will know about the marriage.

[cyounus]

It is not a double standard. The reason for this is because children usually take the religion of their father and would therefore, become non-Muslim.

Bukhari:
A man is the ruler of his family, and he will be questioned on the Day of Judgement about those under his care. A woman is the ruler in the house of her husband, and she will be questioned about those under her care.

Surah 5:5
On this day all things that are clean have been made lawful for them. And lawful for you is the food of the people of the Book (Bible) as your food is made lawful for them. And lawful are the chaste Muslim women, and the women of the Book (Bible) who are chaste, (for marriage) and not fornication or liaison, if you give them their dowries, Useless shall be rendered the acts of those who turn bach on their faith, and they will be amoung the losers in the life to come.

[the1]

Originally posted by cyounus
secret marriage and temporary marriage are NOT Islamic. Infact the Walima is part of the marriage so that all will know about the marriage.

Just echoing in here, a key aspect of validating a marriage in Islam is something called "i'lan", or broadcast (roughly translated. In essence what this refers to is the need to make public the union of these 2 people for it to be legal. Everyone who sees them in the future should know that they are married.

I am of Egyptian origin, my wife was born and raised there, and I know that in Egypt, there are many secret/temporary weddings that people partake in, but from a strictly religious stand point these are all invalid. Both temporary and secret unions are not good faith marriages.

[Hashman]

Originally posted by cyounus
secret marriage and temporary marriage are NOT Islamic. Infact the Walima is part of the marriage so that all will know about the marriage.
The walima is sunnah (practiced by the Prophet) and highly recommended, but it is not wajib (obligatory). That means a marriage is not invalid without the walima.

Here are some links with that info, if you need them:
http://www.soundvision.com/Info/weddings/faqs.asp
http://sunnipath.com/resources/Questions/qa00003049.aspx

[cyounus]

The 1
My husband is from Cairo, we have an apt in Maadi. I am Native American (Indian) converted many years ago.
Not knowing when you where in Egypt last I can say that secret marriages are looked down upon.
Perhaps what they are calling secret marriages are the engagements?

[mkaw]

I'm wondering about wedding customs. Am I correct that weddings do not take place in mosques? Who officiates?

[cyounus]

A truly Islamic wedding is a simmple affair, and the bride does not even have to attend. If she choose, she can send two witnes of her agreement. The ceremony consists of reading the Quran, and the exchange of vows in front of witnesses for both partners. No special religious official is necessary, but often the Imam is present.

There are many cultureal truditions such as Mendi

Islam makes it obligatory for men to give a dowery, which remains the property of the wive.

[Hashman]

Originally posted by mkaw
I'm wondering about wedding customs. Am I correct that weddings do not take place in mosques? Who officiates?
Every wedding that I've been to (including my own) has been in a mosque. :) In my case, we had an Imam from out of town do the Nikah...but because he was not licensed in the state to perform marriages, we went down to the Town Hall later and had a "civil ceremony" in front of the town clerk also. Where I live now, there are plenty of Imams that are allowed to perform marriages, so there's no such issue of having to also have a civil ceremony.

[cyounus]

I would like to add that the vows are not like the christian vows but is a contract. Our marriage contracts look more like prenuptual agreements.

[Shelby1]

if a muslim man decides to marry a non-muslim woman, does the ceremony have to be the traditional islamic wedding ceremony? (i'm probably not even saying that right but w/e). or like...i know some people have more than one wedding ceremony so could they do like, one for both?

[cyounus]

I had posted the following earlyer. if one wants to get married in a church they can. I would recommend that an Imam should be present for the sake of the man.

A truly Islamic wedding is a simmple affair, and the bride does not even have to attend. If she choose, she can send two witnes of her agreement. The ceremony consists of reading the Quran, and the exchange of vows in front of witnesses for both partners. No special religious official is necessary, but often the Imam is present.

There are many cultureal truditions such as Mendi

Islam makes it obligatory for men to give a dowery, which remains the property of the wive.

[pebblz]

flat out - it is preferred that muslims marry muslims.but, and this a huge but, its your decision. i'm lebanese / muslim, and my uncle jimmy married a german, my cousin sunny married a christian and i could go on. its all about choice. i know that if i were to marry a non muslim my folks would probably disown me, but hey, u cant help who u fall for THATS LIFE. so to say it is mandatory, i would say no, to say that it is better for the family's sake / reputation, i would say yes. its really a toss up. and that whole thing about converting, if u choose to convert, ya best be doing it for the right reasons, to convert for the sake of getting married, in god's eyes, its void.

[Hashman]

Originally posted by cyounus
I had posted the following earlyer. if one wants to get married in a church they can. I would recommend that an Imam should be present for the sake of the man.

A truly Islamic wedding is a simmple affair, and the bride does not even have to attend. If she choose, she can send two witnes of her agreement. The ceremony consists of reading the Quran, and the exchange of vows in front of witnesses for both partners. No special religious official is necessary, but often the Imam is present.
And just to add to that, all the Islamic requirements of marriage must be satisfied even if it is held in a church. So that means it must include the proper recitation of nikah, mahr, etc.

[cyounus]

Pebblz if you had read earyler post you would see that Surahs have been quoted and there is no doubt as to the permission of marring Christian or Jews. She was asking if there should be two sermons.

[pebblz]

Originally posted by Winter80
If you are a muslim can you marry someone who is not of the same religion or would that person need to convert? Do Muslim believe women should work or not?

i was commenting on this post

[cyounus]

For those that do not know Nikkah means marriage and Mahr means dowery.

I had added that it is obligatory to give dowery (mahr).

[Hashman]

Originally posted by cyounus
Hashman, Are you pakistani or indian? I notice you used the word Nikkah. My punjabi and urdu is rusty. I have not visited islamabad for a while.

For those that do not know Nikkah means marriage and Mahr means dowery.Nikah and Mahr are Arabic words...I'm not sure how you get out of my usage of them that I'm Pakistani or Indian. :D

And to clarify the mahr for the non-Muslims here, it's not like a typical dowry that is given from the bride's family to the groom...instead, the mahr is given by the groom to the bride.

[cyounus]

Hushman,
I am sory, I was thinking about something else when I seen the word Nikkah. I was thinking about mendi. Please foregive me. I told you I was rusty:P

[Noor]

1. The free acceptance by the spouses, and the settlement of Mahr between the bride and the groom, are the basic conditions of Nikah or marriage. It is bride’s prerogative to ask as much mahr as she wished.

2. Nikah ceremony should be held in public - known to the community - and properly verified by witnesses on both sides

3. Walimah is the Sunnah of the Prophet Mohammad (P.B.U.H), but must be within ones means and as simple as possible.

While mahr is a must and has to be paid by the husband before marriage consummation, or as mutually decided in the nikah contract, dowry from parents of the bride to the bride is NOT to be demanded by the groom at all. If the bride’s father/brothers give her something, it remains her sole property for all time, along with what she has inherited or earned through her own efforts.

[Hashman]

Originally posted by Ski-Bunny
I have a slightly different question about marriage. Do Muslims in the US and Canada ever practice or engage in "temporary marriage" or 'sigheh' (I believe that is how you spell it).

I have heard that in Islam, it is possible to have temporary marriage contracts (which are actually legal in Islamic countries) with all the benefits and sanctions of marriage, for a limited period of time (as little as a few months) and that it is practised when away from your family for an extended period of time or between unmarried people when marriage is not yet possible for a number of reasons - usually financial.

Of course, I understand that it would not be formally "legal" in the US and Canada, but is it ever practised by agreement through the clergy? I would appreciate your comments! :)
As you may know, mutah/sigheh is basically not allowed by Sunnis...so that leaves only the Shias that may be practicing it. And among the Shias in the US and Canada, I believe it is an uncommon practice that is sometimes frowned upon because of the way some have abused it in the past, but it does happen once in a while. But despite it being frowned upon by some, most Shias are accepting of its use in legitimate situations. Clergy would not need to be involved, as it can be and usually is done privately between the man and woman...so most people would rarely be informed of such a marriage.

For a good backgrounder on Mutah, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_Mut'ah (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_Mut%27ah).

(For Sunnis in Saudi Arabia and Egypt, a similar practice is Misyar marriage -- see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_Misyar and http://www.gulfnews.com/Articles/RegionNF.asp?ArticleID=165873 ... I would assume that it's not at all commonly practiced by Muslims of Saudi/Egyptian origin now living in North America.)

[Hashman]

Originally posted by Ski-Bunny
There are a number of sites on the internet that refer to this - if I am wrong about the interpretation, I am confused as to what "temporary marriage" means. This is the story that I read that is comtemporary and I found while surfing the net:
http://www.fww.org/famnews/09182000.htm
Is this inaccurate? I know not to believe all that I read without further investigation. I would appreciate any comment. My background is Lutheran and am curious as to whether this is a similar approach to the old practice of "bundling" as practised in the Dutch culture. I hadn't heard of it before, but I just googled it and read up on it a little. My wife is from Amish country in Pennsylvania.... I'll have to ask her whether she ever "Bundled". :D :D :D

I can think of a few reasons why Mutah is not like Bundling:
1) Shia Muslim scholars agree that Mutah is Islamically permissible...even Prophet Muhammad allowed it during his time, according to both Shia and Sunni sources. On the other hand, Bundling was discouraged by the Christian/Amish clergy (at least in colonial America).

2) Mutah is meant to provide a religiously permissible way to satisfy natural urges, whereas Bundling was not meant for that purpose and was for courtship only.

3) Mutah has various conditions like the man having to support a child born due to Mutah and provide inheritance, whereas Bundling has no such thing.


And I can't really think of any reason why the two are similar, other than that they can both be used for courtship.

[sonshine]

Originally posted by SweetGal
Winter im not really an expert or anything but i do happen to be muslim so ill just tell u from wat i know as a muslim woman :).... muslim men are allowed to marry a woman who is not of the same religion ( but it's not really recommended and they have to be of either christian or Jewish faith and they cant be atheists (sp)) but a muslim woman can never marry a man who is not muslim. From wat i understand, it's not recommended in both cases (even though its permissable for a man) because Islam considers the husband head-of-the-family and because she
will be under the authority of a non-muslim husband. He may
prevent her from carrying out her religious obligations by
pressuring her. But that it is not the sole reason for imposing the restriction. The situation is considered very damaging for the woman to practise Islam afterwards and even worse for the kids in such marriages.

I hope that kind of explains it, but im not an expert.. if there is any ppl out there who can add to this that would be g8... :) We are to be equally yolked to have harmony in the home.