Would you change your religion for your man? [Archive]

bambiangel

10-08-2005, 06:41 PM

Why change your beliefs for his ? Are his more important to him?Why couldn't he change for yours ? I personally feel that if your religion is important as is the person you love then you should be able to co exist.. If not then obviously the love, was not deep enough...and before you say anything ,my husband and I have diff religions and have happily co existed in the last 28 years...We taught our children both ,plus encouraged them to check out others ..And they believe in their way... REspect of our differences is a belief in itself...

Lala

10-08-2005, 06:43 PM

Originally posted by cyounus

Change for the sake of anything or anyone is not accepted by God. Change must come from within your heart

OK, but if you are in love and you make the change of your own free will, isn't that a change that is coming from within your heart?

Ladyjinx

10-08-2005, 06:45 PM

No
and i think anyone who would then never really believed thier beliefs to begin with.

cyounus

10-08-2005, 06:48 PM

If you believe in Islam,you would change even without marring.

Now to add to that. Marring a Muslim may be the catalist that bring about the studing of Islam, but the acceptance should only be if you truly believed.

boobev

10-08-2005, 06:54 PM

I would not date a man outside of my beliefs so it would not be a question for me. I am equally yolked (married)

Lala

10-08-2005, 06:55 PM

Originally posted by cyounus
If you believe in Islam,you would change even without marring.

Now to add to that. Marring a Muslim may be the catalist that bring about the studing of Islam, but the acceptance should only be if you truly believed.

I am not trying to give you a hard time, but please consider this:

Isn't it possible that you could meet someone and find yourself attracted to them on a deeper level only to find out that they follow a different faith from yours? Is it not possible that "the Supreme Being" has brought this person to you to take you on this path?

Ladyjinx

10-08-2005, 06:57 PM

Lala wrote:

I am not trying to give you a hard time, but please consider this:

Isn't it possible that you could meet someone and find yourself attracted to them on a deeper level only to find out that they follow a different faith from yours? Is it not possible that "the Supreme Being" has brought this person to you to take you on this path?

I know this was not directed at me, but it would seem to me that if you beleived in the path, then that is different then just changing your beliefs to marry someone. It would depend on your sincerity in what you believe.

cyounus

10-08-2005, 07:02 PM

Originally posted by Lala
Originally posted by cyounus
If you believe in Islam,you would change even without marring.

Now to add to that. Marring a Muslim may be the catalist that bring about the studing of Islam, but the acceptance should only be if you truly believed.

I am not trying to give you a hard time, but please consider this:

Isn't it possible that you could meet someone and find yourself attracted to them on a deeper level only to find out that they follow a different faith from yours? Is it not possible that "the Supreme Being" has brought this person to you to take you on this path?
that is what I was saying in my "now add to that". It could be that this man is the way in which GOD is bringing Islam to you. But reguarless, the change has to be from you to GOD

Lala

10-08-2005, 07:08 PM

Thanks, Cyounus, I think we understand each other.

I was not raised in a formal, structured religion but I have been a spiritual person my whole life. A spiritual life is very important to me, but I am not committed to a single religion. So I guess this question is very different for someone like me as opposed to someone who has followed a specific religion their entire life.

And it is our differences that make this world interesting.

cyounus

10-08-2005, 07:09 PM

Where oh where is Winter? She would love this thread. :P

cyounus

10-08-2005, 07:11 PM

Originally posted by Lala
Thanks, Cyounus, I think we understand each other.

I was not raised in a formal, structured religion but I have been a spiritual person my whole life. A spiritual life is very important to me, but I am not committed to a single religion. So I guess this question is very different for someone like me as opposed to someone who has followed a specific religion their entire life.

And it is our differences that make this world interesting.
I was raised in the church, my father is a Decon. I converted years ago after I converted only then did I meet my Husband.

Lala

10-08-2005, 07:16 PM

Originally posted by cyounus

I was raised in the church, my father is a Decon. I converted years ago after I converted only then did I meet my Husband. [/quote]

Do you think that you would have been open to this man coming into your life before you had converted?

cyounus

10-08-2005, 07:22 PM

No. I say that because I was very devout in my faith. If he had tried to teach me or change me, then I would have considered that a turn off of someone who did not think I was good enough as I am. I admit that I am very head strong and I am into womens rights and always was.

Molly

10-08-2005, 07:25 PM

Ladyjinx

10-08-2005, 07:28 PM

People are very nice here Molly. Its my favorite board.
I'm glad your here and hope we keep seeing more of you :)

Molly

10-08-2005, 07:35 PM

Originally posted by Ladyjinx
People are very nice here Molly. Its my favorite board.
I'm glad your here and hope we keep seeing more of you :)

Thanks Lady! It really is great to read thought provoking posts. There has been some fighting on other parts of the board. It's nice to have civil conversations on subjects that mean something.

Lala

10-08-2005, 07:59 PM

Originally posted by Molly

Can I just say that I like this forum? It gets redundant reading the "Kaysar is hot" posts all the time. Not that I don't think he is...LOL But it's nice to discuss something of more substance to it. :)

I agree with you. It's nice to see people thinking about and discussing issues they might not otherwise.

Thanks for sharing.

Winter80-sara

10-08-2005, 09:35 PM

I would never change it for a man. Id want it to be my desision. I have been tempted to once but i just couldnt do it for some reason. I finally figured it was because my heart new it wasnt the right path for my.

Shelby1

10-08-2005, 09:37 PM

N-O. And I wouldn't want my kids to be raised under any specific religion either. I would want them to make their own decisions on what they believe.

Winter80-sara

10-08-2005, 09:40 PM

that is kinda what my parents wanted for me. I am catholic but they wanted me to choose whats right for me.

Hashman

10-08-2005, 09:42 PM

In Islam, the true love is the love for God. If you love someone for the sake of your desires in this world (rather than the hereafter), then that material love will mean nothing after you die. If you love someone because they bring you closer to God, then it means much more.

Someone in another forum posted a response to a question about the perfect wife and described love perfectly (from an Islamic perspective):

I would say the best of wives are the ones who turn ablaze the fire of love within your heart.
Who through her ways make you love Allah more and instead of silencing this passionate flame, she makes it burn stronger and endure much more. And through this love of Allah makes you love her more and melt her entire being like stearin, the very stearin that keeps your torch alive.
Such is the love that Allah casts into the hearts of the new-wed ones, unfortunately they don't nurture it and by the years it slowly dies.

Also she would not be attached to the World, and that includes me too, but fall in love with Allah and see Him only. With a love where she strives to fly closer to His proximity rather than mine. This would make me love her more too, indeed.
Was that not the way the Prophet(S) won the entire creation's love?
If you love the Creator the creation will love you!

She would be my mirror and my soulmate, and through her ardent love for Allah she would make me a servant of God and a cupbearer of love.
Or in the words of Imam Ali(A) when asked how he find Fatemah Zahra(A), "She brought me closer to Allah."

THAT is love. :)

Winter80-sara

10-08-2005, 09:46 PM

Hashman thankyou for posting that. That is so beautiful.

Ladyjinx

10-08-2005, 09:50 PM

Yes it is very beautiful.

Winter80-sara

10-08-2005, 09:52 PM

I would love to find a man who could do all of that. Been unlucky I guess

Ladyjinx

10-08-2005, 09:57 PM

Ahh winter any guy would be lucky to have you!
You just have not met the one yet.

Debookwrm

10-08-2005, 10:05 PM

Originally posted by Lala
Don't answer too quickly - think about it.

If you fell in love with a Muslim, for example, would you be willing to convert if he asked you to do so? I understand that it is not required, but I think it is something to consider. What if it was really important to him that both of you follow the same faith. Would you be willing to raise your children as Muslims?

Just curious . . .

P.S. - If you are a Muslim, would you consider converting to another religion for the man/woman in your life?

I'm sure you've had wonderful responses, but before I read them and at the risk of repeating them...I didn't want to be influenced.

I was brought up Protestant and the nuances of each of the Religions are curious things based on translation and focus. My faith is in God and not religion. God is true and first. I could never love a man who didn't love God. But religion is different in Protestant faiths...to move from one to another is not uncommon for people.

To make a choice to convert to Judaism, Catholicism, or Islam would take much study and a change of how one views what God asks of them. It is possible, but to do so for a man...I can't think that it would be the right thing. The love of a man may inspire one to learn and perhaps change for one's self I expect. I know of many people who converted to Catholicism for the Church wedding and to be married in the eyes of the Catholic Church. I wouldn't personally make that choice.

To convert to a polytheist religion...for a man is unimaginable to me. Not an option.

If this is for you personally...treat it personally and with great respect. Faith is very important and not to be taken lightly. Study Islam and then make the decision. As I understand it, Muslim's believe that we are all born into Islam and have only to say that we are Muslim with one phrase. A simple path...but first the homework.

And for me also, I would hope only to marry someone with my own beliefs and faith. I wouldn't want to confuse our children. I would hope to raise them to be secure in their faith and love of God.

Deb

Lala

10-09-2005, 01:52 PM

Originally posted by Hashman
In Islam, the true love is the love for God. If you love someone for the sake of your desires in this world (rather than the hereafter), then that material love will mean nothing after you die. If you love someone because they bring you closer to God, then it means much more.

Someone in another forum posted a response to a question about the perfect wife and described love perfectly (from an Islamic perspective):

I would say the best of wives are the ones who turn ablaze the fire of love within your heart.
Who through her ways make you love Allah more and instead of silencing this passionate flame, she makes it burn stronger and endure much more. And through this love of Allah makes you love her more and melt her entire being like stearin, the very stearin that keeps your torch alive.
Such is the love that Allah casts into the hearts of the new-wed ones, unfortunately they don't nurture it and by the years it slowly dies.

Also she would not be attached to the World, and that includes me too, but fall in love with Allah and see Him only. With a love where she strives to fly closer to His proximity rather than mine. This would make me love her more too, indeed.
Was that not the way the Prophet(S) won the entire creation's love?
If you love the Creator the creation will love you!

She would be my mirror and my soulmate, and through her ardent love for Allah she would make me a servant of God and a cupbearer of love.
Or in the words of Imam Ali(A) when asked how he find Fatemah Zahra(A), "She brought me closer to Allah."

THAT is love. :)

Wow. That is really inspiring. Thank you for sharing it with me.

My first reaction is one of intimidation almost. Is it possible to have this effect on another person? Is it possible to maintain this measure of devotion? Is there room for human foible?

Perhaps it is best to view this example of love as a goal or a destination that is the culmination of a life's journey. I like the fact that it takes into account that initial, burning attraction you feel for someone and suggests that you can maintain that flame, as it were, if you nurture it.

Fantastic stuff. Thanks again.

Lala

10-09-2005, 01:59 PM

Originally posted by Debookwrm

I'm sure you've had wonderful responses, but before I read them and at the risk of repeating them...I didn't want to be influenced.

You are right. There have been wonderful responses to this post. I love reading this board. I am impressed by how open people are to discussing very personal issues.

I did not post this because I am contemplating such an event in my life. I am just struck by how many ladies on this board are attracted to a man who probably follows a very different religion than their own, and I just ran that thought out to its logical conclusion.

You bring up an interesting point about not wanting to confuse your children, and I wonder if children that are raised in a home with more than one religion represented are confused? I wonder if it does not make them more tolerant and respectful of the beliefs of others.

Just a thought. Thanks for sharing.

Debookwrm

10-09-2005, 02:05 PM

Originally posted by Lala
You bring up an interesting point about not wanting to confuse your children, and I wonder if children that are raised in a home with more than one religion represented are confused? I wonder if it does not make them more tolerant and respectful of the beliefs of others.

Just a thought. Thanks for sharing.

It would be wonderful if that could be the case. But even raised in a Protestant religions...or two...with a father who is Baptist, a mother who is Church of Christ and a Grandfather who was a Methodist Minister was confusing to me as a child. There was no unity. I would rather give my children a firmer foundation and if they chose to search later...I would grant them that latitude because their faith is their own.

Deb

Lala

10-09-2005, 02:14 PM

Originally posted by Debookwrm

It would be wonderful if that could be the case. But even raised in a Protestant religions...or two...with a father who is Baptist, a mother who is Church of Christ and a Grandfather who was a Methodist Minister was confusing to me as a child. There was no unity. I would rather give my children a firmer foundation and if they chose to search later...I would grant them that latitude because their faith is their own.

Deb

Well, I learned something here today. I would have never dreamed that variations of Protestant religions could be so different.

I think that a foundation of religious education is very important for children, and I would want that for my children. But I believe very strongly that their education must teach respect and tolerance of all regions. And it is a lack of respect and tolerance that leads to so many of the problems that we face today.

Debookwrm

10-09-2005, 02:31 PM

Originally posted by Lala
Originally posted by Debookwrm

It would be wonderful if that could be the case. But even raised in a Protestant religions...or two...with a father who is Baptist, a mother who is Church of Christ and a Grandfather who was a Methodist Minister was confusing to me as a child. There was no unity. I would rather give my children a firmer foundation and if they chose to search later...I would grant them that latitude because their faith is their own.

Deb

Well, I learned something here today. I would have never dreamed that variations of Protestant religions could be so different.

I think that a foundation of religious education is very important for children, and I would want that for my children. But I believe very strongly that their education must teach respect and tolerance of all regions. And it is a lack of respect and tolerance that leads to so many of the problems that we face today.

Absolutely. The faith in God is the most important part, and I personally am less concerned with the religion they choose than the faith being true. That goes for me as well. I am still searching myself, some are eliminated...some I'm open to and some I've just started to learn about.

Deb

iwannajaniedoll

10-09-2005, 02:43 PM

No, I wouldn't change my beliefs for a man, let alone anyone for that matter. I'm a very spiritual person, and my spiritual well-being is important to me. I'm not going to conform to another's standards unless those beliefs fit into my personal spiritual growth.

I'm Wiccan and my husband's Baptist. We raise our children to explore spiritual paths that they feel comfortable with, and we are supportive of those beliefs. We won't force our views upon them because religion was forced on us when we were kids.

I grew up in the Church of Christ, and I always felt like there was something missing in my life. When I became involved with Wicca, I found what had been missing, and I'm not losing that for a man.

iwannajaniedoll

10-09-2005, 02:56 PM

To convert to a polytheist religion...for a man is unimaginable to me. Not an option.

Deb, why is that out for you? The reason why I ask, and I hope you do not take offense to this because I mean no disrespect, is that you may be uneducated on what polytheism really is. I am a polytheist, and we use the attributes of the gods and goddesses in our religion, but most of us do believe that they are attributes of one Supreme Being.

In Christianity, there is the Holy Trinity. These are attributes of God. Since my beliefs are based on the Greek and Celtic traditions, I will "channel" the attribute of a god or goddess that I need at that time, for instance Athena represented strength, so I will call on God's strength to give me the strength I need. I hope that makes sense, because it is something that's very hard to explain.

Debookwrm

10-09-2005, 03:07 PM

Originally posted by iwannajaniedoll

To convert to a polytheist religion...for a man is unimaginable to me. Not an option.

Deb, why is that out for you? The reason why I ask, and I hope you do not take offense to this because I mean no disrespect, is that you may be uneducated on what polytheism really is. I am a polytheist, and we use the attributes of the gods and goddesses in our religion, but most of us do believe that they are attributes of one Supreme Being.

In Christianity, there is the Holy Trinity. These are attributes of God. Since my beliefs are based on the Greek and Celtic traditions, I will "channel" the attribute of a god or goddess that I need at that time, for instance Athena represented strength, so I will call on God's strength to give me the strength I need. I hope that makes sense, because it is something that's very hard to explain.

I take no offense. I don't believe in the Holy Trinity being the same either. I think that God is separate and Jesus and his Spirit are two parts of one being.

I only know how I feel and would not wish to influence your decision. Faith is personal.

Deb

iwannajaniedoll

10-09-2005, 04:28 PM

Originally posted by Debookwrm
Originally posted by iwannajaniedoll

To convert to a polytheist religion...for a man is unimaginable to me. Not an option.

Deb, why is that out for you? The reason why I ask, and I hope you do not take offense to this because I mean no disrespect, is that you may be uneducated on what polytheism really is. I am a polytheist, and we use the attributes of the gods and goddesses in our religion, but most of us do believe that they are attributes of one Supreme Being.

In Christianity, there is the Holy Trinity. These are attributes of God. Since my beliefs are based on the Greek and Celtic traditions, I will "channel" the attribute of a god or goddess that I need at that time, for instance Athena represented strength, so I will call on God's strength to give me the strength I need. I hope that makes sense, because it is something that's very hard to explain.

I take no offense. I don't believe in the Holy Trinity being the same either. I think that God is separate and Jesus and his Spirit are two parts of one being.

I only know how I feel and would not wish to influence your decision. Faith is personal.

Deb

OK, because a lot of Christians believe that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are the same. Now, I grew up as a Christian, and I was taught that they were separate as well. In fact, I do believe that Jesus was one of the wisest men to ever walk the face of this earth, but I don't believe that he's my savior. I gave the example of the Holy Trinity because it is the only thing in Christianity that is closely related to a polytheistic principle.

I do agree that faith is personal, and I would never try to do anything to influence anyone else's decision.

cyounus

10-09-2005, 04:52 PM

because a lot of Christians believe that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are the same.

You bring up something very intresting. Not all Christians believe in the trinity

iwannajaniedoll

10-09-2005, 05:07 PM

Originally posted by cyounus

because a lot of Christians believe that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are the same.

You bring up something very intresting. Not all Christians believe in the trinity

Exactly! I grew up in the Church of Christ, and we believed that Jesus was the son of God and that the Holy Spirit was the spirit of the Jesus.

Debookwrm

10-09-2005, 05:19 PM

Exactly! I grew up in the Church of Christ, and we believed that Jesus was the son of God and that the Holy Spirit was the spirit of the Jesus.

The interesting thing here is the phrase *son of God*. I think we are all God's children and that therefore Jesus is one of God's children and by that token the son of God. But in terms of him being the offspring of God Himself...I'm not certain of that either. I think it may be a translation issue. I'm open to the idea. Just because he made Mary 'with child' does not mean that he procreated as issue of himself. I admit it's always puzzled me.

Deb

iwannajaniedoll

10-09-2005, 05:40 PM

Originally posted by Debookwrm
Exactly! I grew up in the Church of Christ, and we believed that Jesus was the son of God and that the Holy Spirit was the spirit of the Jesus.

The interesting thing here is the phrase *son of God*. I think we are all God's children and that therefore Jesus is one of God's children and by that token the son of God. But in terms of him being the offspring of God Himself...I'm not certain of that either. I think it may be a translation issue. I'm open to the idea. Just because he made Mary 'with child' does not mean that he procreated as issue of himself. I admit it's always puzzled me.

Deb

Deb, it's funny that you mention that it puzzles you because there was a lot of things that puzzled me about Christianity, and as I got older, I began questioning everything.

For instance, if Jesus was the one chosen to die for our sins, why isn't there more mention of him between the time he was born and the time he was in his early 30s as a carpenter? If Adam and Eve were the first people on the earth, where did everyone else come from? And for those that believe in the Holy Trinity, why would Jesus say, "My God, why hath thou forsaken me?" if they were the same person?

There are many other questions that I had, these were just some of the ones that come to mind immediately. The church I gre up in didn't believe in music or dancing, but yet, David danced while playing a golden harp. When I would ask why the church didn't have music, I was told that an instrument has no soul, and the dancing I was told leads to more sexual behavior. I asked my youth minister how the cotton-eyed joe led to sex, and he scolded me for trying to be funny. I really wasn't trying to be, it's just that the answer I was given didn't make any sense, so I questioned it.

I think the problem is that if the Bible is truly the word of God, they had too many translators with their hands in the cookie jar. It has been translated over and over again until I think it lost its original "meat", if that makes any sense. Some people take it way to literally, and don't realize that it was written for its time. Things have changed tremendously, and the same rules don't apply, such as "spare the rod and spoil the child". You do that today, and you're going to jail.

I used to drive my mother crazy because she brought me up in the Church of Christ. When I got to be about 15, I started going to different churches, just to see what their beliefs were. I went to the Baptist church, Methodist church, Catholic church, Assembly of God church, and then I went back to the Church of Christ. I still didn't get the answers that fit me. I started reading up on world religions and found Paganism, and it seemed like all of MY personal spiritual questions were answered.

cyounus

10-09-2005, 05:46 PM

iwannajaniedoll

You need to go to the thread on Jesus, their are about 17 pages but the ones on the bible start about page 12.

iwannajaniedoll

10-09-2005, 06:00 PM

Originally posted by cyounus
iwannajaniedoll

You need to go to the thread on Jesus, their are about 17 pages but the ones on the bible start about page 12.

I'll check it out...Thanks!

iwannajaniedoll

10-09-2005, 11:00 PM

Originally posted by cyounus
iwannajaniedoll

You need to go to the thread on Jesus, their are about 17 pages but the ones on the bible start about page 12.

OK, c, I read and I posted my comments. I strongly disagree with fundamentalists, and I believe you have one in that particular thread. What you have to say is very educational, and you express yourself in a way that is not threatening or commanding. I don't like having someone else's beliefs shoved down my throat. It's people like that who turn others away from wanting to learn anything else. If I wanted to be proselytized to, I'd much rather just call my parents. ;)

bambiangel

10-09-2005, 11:13 PM

Originally posted by iwannajaniedoll
Originally posted by cyounus
iwannajaniedoll

You need to go to the thread on Jesus, their are about 17 pages but the ones on the bible start about page 12.

OK, c, I read and I posted my comments. I strongly disagree with fundamentalists, and I believe you have one in that particular thread. What you have to say is very educational, and you express yourself in a way that is not threatening or commanding. I don't like having someone else's beliefs shoved down my throat. It's people like that who turn others away from wanting to learn anything else. If I wanted to be proselytized to, I'd much rather just call my parents. ;)

that turn me away too....:(

ashleyheartskaysar

10-09-2005, 11:27 PM

I would think about converting, (I am not very religious)... but if my heart wasn't in it on a spiritual level I would not... however, if my husband was deeply rooted in his religious beliefs I completely support raising children to believe in his faith. And I will be there for him every step of the way.

Kay

10-10-2005, 01:26 AM

To answer this question:
When I met my husband, I learned he was raised Lutheran.
Me? Although to exposed to Christian beliefs, I was not a member of any church. I did attend Sun. Sc. with friends at times.
After we married, we both attended his church and I became a member there. It wasn't until some years later, we both left that denomination for another one. At this time, we are both in agreement that church (organized religion) is not for us.
but we do believe in God.

cyounus

10-10-2005, 08:28 AM

Dear iwannajaniedoll and bambiangel

Please do not let one person discourage you from reading and/or asking questions.

4jay4kay is very passionate about his religion and we should all respect that. I do however think that one can be passionate and have an open mind and I would like to see him exchanging knowledage reather than trying to argue a point and I agree that some of his post are a little long, but some of mine have been too.

So please join in, We would love to hear from you.

C. Younus

memyselfandI

10-13-2005, 10:05 PM

No. In Christianity you're not really supposed to marry outside of the religion (understand that you will hear different things from different followers and some dont feel this way).

If you marry someone and then You convert to Christianity, but your spouse still is either non-religious or of another religion, you are to now live a good Christian life according to the Bible and your partner is to be/should be/could be swayed by your behavior. In fact a lot of denominations don't permit dating between Christian and Muslim people. Which is SOOOO hard for me to submit to because I know so many REALLY cute, nice, sweet, honest, modest Muslim men.

However, even if I fell in love with one of them, I'm sorry but I could never turn my back on my faith, and as stated by someone else I don't think I would have to if I fell in love with a Muslim man (if I'm wrong please correct me).

cyounus

10-13-2005, 11:17 PM

You are correct. I had posted this on page 1.

Originally posted by cyounus
NO!!!!;)

To add to that, a muslim man would not or should not ask you to. He should teach you in the way of Islam, but only you can can decide as to the a change without complusion.

Change for the sake of anything or anyone is not accepted by God. Change must come from within your heart

However, a Muslim man would or should raise his children in the way of Islam regardless if his wife is Christian or Jew.

lion

10-14-2005, 08:02 AM

Peace and blessings to all,

and to correct a recent bumper sticker I read,

God bless US ALL!

I feel that it is a matter of how deeply you feel about that faith and how much your marriage derives from it.

My marriage would be nothing without our mutual faith and belief in Allah and Mohammad(saw)(this is a title of respect, each letter stands for a word in arabic). I believe in this day and age you have to have something that is beyond the good looks and sweet voice that will bind you as a couple together for many years. Otherwise, when it is not based on something solid, then the marriage is more apt to breakup.

Whenever I have an argument with my wife, it is my faith and my belief that brings me back to her. It is my faith that tells me that I cannot be mad for longer than 3 days. It is my faith that says to tell my wife I love her and it is better to forgive someones mistake. And it is for the worship of God that I love my wife, not because shes pretty, or kind, which she is, but I have a higher reason that will outlast those 2.

"The Prophet (SA) of Allah stated: 'The more one becomes faithful the more one expresses kindness to his spouse'."[149]

Lala

10-14-2005, 06:07 PM

Originally posted by lion
Whenever I have an argument with my wife, it is my faith and my belief that brings me back to her. It is my faith that tells me that I cannot be mad for longer than 3 days.

Three days! Yikes! That is a LONG time! What about the old adage that you should never go to bed angry?

Seriously,

And it is for the worship of God that I love my wife, not because shes pretty, or kind, which she is, but I have a higher reason that will outlast those 2.

What a lovely thought. Your wife is a lucky woman. Thanks for sharing.

lion

10-14-2005, 06:30 PM

God Bless US ALL,

Well the 3 days thing is actually for your relations with all people. Imagine how many people you have gotten mad at and not talked to for weeks on end, Islam says only take 3 days to calm down, then talk to each other. For your spouse its different. Islam actually tells you that if you get in a heated argument, to wash your face, then come back and talk. When I say it, I mean the hadith, which are the sayings and actions of the Prophet and Imams.

memyselfandI

10-14-2005, 07:32 PM

Originally posted by lion
God Bless US ALL,

Well the 3 days thing is actually for your relations with all people. Imagine how many people you have gotten mad at and not talked to for weeks on end, Islam says only take 3 days to calm down, then talk to each other. For your spouse its different. Islam actually tells you that if you get in a heated argument, to wash your face, then come back and talk. When I say it, I mean the hadith, which are the sayings and actions of the Prophet and Imams.

Again I've learned something new from this forum! In Christianity we are commanded not to let the sun go down on our wrath, which basically means before the day is up settle your differences. Obviously this is Very hard and often not done. I like the 3 day rule!

karina

10-14-2005, 07:50 PM

yes, i would convert. But I will not until Sully and I are ready to commit to each other seriously, and forever. It is in our future, and when the time comes, we will both know it. I was raised Roman Catholic, and have been learning about Islam through him and other Muslim friends and have fallen in love with the religion. It would be important for me to raise our kids one faith and I think if we tried dual religions it would just be too hard.

lion

10-14-2005, 10:59 PM

Sister Karina,

I will keep you and your future husband in my prayers. May God grant both of you an enlightened future.

Lion

karina

10-16-2005, 04:20 AM

Originally posted by lion
Sister Karina,

I will keep you and your future husband in my prayers. May God grant both of you an enlightened future.

Lion

Awww... thank you :) It means a lot!

Debookwrm

10-16-2005, 08:26 AM

Originally posted by Debookwrm
Originally posted by Lala
Originally posted by Debookwrm

It would be wonderful if that could be the case. But even raised in a Protestant religions...or two...with a father who is Baptist, a mother who is Church of Christ and a Grandfather who was a Methodist Minister was confusing to me as a child. There was no unity. I would rather give my children a firmer foundation and if they chose to search later...I would grant them that latitude because their faith is their own.

Deb

Well, I learned something here today. I would have never dreamed that variations of Protestant religions could be so different.

I think that a foundation of religious education is very important for children, and I would want that for my children. But I believe very strongly that their education must teach respect and tolerance of all regions. And it is a lack of respect and tolerance that leads to so many of the problems that we face today.

Absolutely. The faith in God is the most important part, and I personally am less concerned with the religion they choose than the faith being true. That goes for me as well. I am still searching myself, some are eliminated...some I'm open to and some I've just started to learn about.

Deb

By the way that makes it very nearly impossible for me to find someone to marry at this point. If I want someone with my own belief system...I'm too confused right now to define it. I may have to become more flexible and just choose someone with the same great faith in God.

Deb

cyounus

10-16-2005, 09:08 AM

Deb,
Your heart will tell you what is right :)

Debookwrm

10-16-2005, 10:47 AM

Originally posted by cyounus
Deb,
Your heart will tell you what is right :)

I hope you're right. I feel so discouraged sometimes. I wonder if I'm just too picky or something. The weird thing is it's not what the guy looks like that's holding me back. The guys I've met are just only interested in drinking and sex and acting stupid. It's been like this since High School and I've never been that girl.

Everyone in my family get's married early and I'm getting to be an old maid here. I know that when the time is right he'll be there, but...

Stupid thought...just lonely.

Deb

val504

10-16-2005, 12:22 PM

Originally posted by Debookwrm
Originally posted by cyounus
Deb,
Your heart will tell you what is right :)

I hope you're right. I feel so discouraged sometimes. I wonder if I'm just too picky or something. The weird thing is it's not what the guy looks like that's holding me back. The guys I've met are just only interested in drinking and sex and acting stupid. It's been like this since High School and I've never been that girl.

Everyone in my family get's married early and I'm getting to be an old maid here. I know that when the time is right he'll be there, but...

Stupid thought...just lonely.

Deb

Hey Deb..it's not a stupid thought..trust me when I say that there are people out there that feel the same way..in fact, I think you read my mind :) I'm in the same predicament, but I'm trying to stay positive..

Lala

10-16-2005, 09:25 PM

Originally posted by Debookwrm

The guys I've met are just only interested in drinking and sex and acting stupid. It's been like this since High School and I've never been that girl.

Deb

Deb - At the risk of turning this thread into an advice column let me just say that I don't think that your frustration at not finding someone to share your life with is stupid. You should never feel stupid for being honest and open and knowing what you want. You are smart not to settle for someone that you are not crazy about - the divorce courts are filled with people who did.

I know this may sound cliche, but have you tried putting yourself in places that attract the kind of man you are interested in? Like you, I was not interested in guys who drink or smoke or hang out in bars so I got a part-time job at a health club and like magic - problem solved.

You also might want to consider guys that are a few years older than the ones you've been dating. Sometimes there is a BIG difference in maturity.

He's out there, and he's looking for you.:)